From The Email Bag....

Email Response to K

I too have had to repent of an adulterous remarriage. A very rough road, but what is the alternative when God convicts you of the sin of it? Stay in it and become reprobate to the call of the Spirit? No thanks! I applaud your courage and faithfulness to heed the voice of the Father. I know what a lonely stand it is when even those who seem to be on fire for Christ have erroneous views on Divorce and Remarriage. May God Bless you, and keep you, and build you up in your inner man to stand strong and live holy. JESUS IS KING! (Name Deleted)

Hi

I just wanted to send a message of thanks about your website/ministry. I have found this along with David Pawson’s sermons and help very valuable in the last couple of years. Especially as most of the Christians i know and all my church elders do not hold this view. But when i was in my re-marriage God spoke to me powerfully one day when i was reading Mark chp 9 where he says -if something causes you to sin cut it off. As i was reading it God said in my mind my 2nd husbands name. i was shocked and didn’t know the reason why. So that started my journey looking into it. I split with my 2nd husband 2yrs ago now and divorce is going through. At times i have struggled as to have I done the right thing. So keep popping back to your site and David Pawson’s sermons on youtube. It cannot be denied that this view is correct and i do feel like a bit of an expert on it now -lol!
In leaving my first husband (we have 2 children) i have destroyed our family. i am praying every day for reconciliation although my 1st husband is remarried now and isn’t a believer. Well think he may have some kind of belief?

Another big thing i am struggling with at the moment is that a little ministry i am involved in where we go out on streets to preach gospel. The leader is in 2nd marriage and just celebrated 30yr anniversary. I’ve talked to him on this subject. He is adamant that it doesn’t refer to him and his wife because they remarried before becoming christians. I believe this is wrong. My question is -PLEASE HELP WITH GUIDANCE – Do i stay under his
leadership of that ministry. I’m thinking if this was 20 yrs ago he wouldn’t even be in the church. Or do i just leave it as I’ve said what i think and do I just stay and pray for them?

Our main church is in a shambles too lots of unbiblical things go on. I know no church is perfect but do u carry on going even though these things go on . Im frightened to stop going as don’t want to become isolated? i would very much appreciate some guidance please, our pastor doesn’t hold this view either and is a bit wishy washy (sorry). What does one do? I’ve been a Christian for nearly 8 yrs now but others say i am too judgmental
and strict in these views. ??!
Best wishes and many thanks again , MS, UK

So glad you found cadz.net, as well as David Pawson’s teachings, helpful to you. Believe it or not, there are more and more people I know in your situation (have forsaken an adulterous union). You are right that most Christians (professing) do not hold this view due to the trends of society that have crept into the church and changed what was once unacceptable marital practices. How far we have come from even 60-70 years ago when pastors would not marry divorced persons (the guilty OR innocent party).

As for the ministry issues, I can’t tell you what to do in that regard. Many of us who have come to this view have found it impossible to stay in organized churches due to this compromise. For us, locking arms with those who approve of adultery is no different than being in fellowships that approve homosexual unions (and this too is increasing growing within professing Christendom). However, some feel led to stay and be a witness to whomever they can. The danger with that can be a person then will end up compromising in order to stay in good fellowship with others. Some, will turn away from the truth altogether in time, leaving the Word of God and their conviction on this issue far behind.

One thing I will say: have mercy and kindness towards those who don’t see yet. Some will never see because they are not even born again………..some will not see because the Lord doesn’t give them eyes to see for some reason, some WILL see later on down the road because of any seeds you have sown (or the Lord will OPEN their eyes as they seek Him in His Word on a different issue). I remind myself if I get frustrated with someone who disagrees that I was there once too and that it was GOD HIMSELF who taught me the truth, not man. In other words, I was a TRUE BELIEVER even before I knew the truth on divorce/remarriage. So, who am I to get frustrated with others when revelation is truly a work of God? All I can do is share what I know to be truth, pray for that person/church believe the Lord will open their eyes in His perfect timing.

If you are interested in connecting with those of like mind, check out the Spirit of Hosea Fellowship link and see if that’s something of interest to you.

Blessings in Him,

Cindy

I have found your website very encouraging and hold to the teachings therein myself. My ex-husband left me and we have now been divorced for nearly 2 years, a divorce I desperately didn’t want after several attempts to try and save my marriage, but to no avail as he didn’t want to stay in the marriage.

We were still legally married at the time (never mind biblically) that my husband met his current wife/partner. He claimed even then that God had given him his new wife and had blessed his personal life. They have been married now for about 18 months and have a young baby of a few months old.

My question is: if their remarriage is considered adultery in God’s eyes, and if children are a blessing from God, why would God bless their union/marriage/relationship with a child if He considers their relationship adulterous?

Regards
Sharon

Hello Sharon,

Thank you for contacting cadz.net with your question. It is encouraging for us to find others who are like-minded in regards to covenant marriage.

Regarding your question: “if their remarriage is considered adultery in God’s eyes, and if children are a blessing from God, why would God bless their union/marriage/relationship with a child if He considers their relationship adulterous?

My question would be this: Is God’s blessing on the couple who are fornicating outside of marriage and have a child? Is God’s blessing upon the couple who are having an extra-marital affair and a child is produced from this union? Are children a wonderful blessing? Yes, and the Lord can use that which was brought forth out of sin for His Glory!! However, UNLAWFUL unions that produce children are NOT honored by the Lord. Scripture teaches us that good comes upon the just AND unjust………and bad comes upon the just and unjust. We are told to “judge righteous judgment”. What that means is we measure “blessing from God” by what HE says is “good”. Is adultery, good? No…….. Many homosexual couples are in the highest financial brackets today. Are they “blessed” by God? How God sees things (how we should also see things if we are “in Him”) are not seen the same way by the world and the carnal “church”. Hope I answered your question. Sharon. Feel free to contact me again if you have further questions.

Blessings in Him,

Cindy

Grace and peace unto you in the name of our Master Teacher and Deliverer, Jesus the Anointed One. I can’t express adequately how profoundly informed, inspired and instructed through this site. This ministry is greatly needed and appreciated. I won’t take up much time now, but if you can instruct me on how to share my testimony I will be so obliged to do so. My question is this: If a woman marries a man on a mutually agreed upon business arrangement then the gets that marriage annulled, having never consummated that union, did God join that union or no? If so then that would make a subsequent marriage an adulterous remarriage yes?

Blessings to you and your entire household.
D

I appreciate you writing about this. I think this is somewhat a common question (does consummation=marriage in God’s sight).
If we go to Mt. 1:18-24, I think we can see it is the vow of marriage before witnesses, possibly including a legal transaction(every culture is different in that regard) that actually makes one bound to the union. In the betrothal process, once betrothed they were considered husband/wife (they entered into a legal agreement before witnesses). It took a divorce, or death to end that marriage. It was very different than our “engagement” process where we promise we will marry each other, but with the knowledge this is a time where the promise can be broken.

Now, in the betrothal, the marriage was not “completed” until the daughter leaves her father’s home to live as a wife (which is what Joseph did when the angel assured him Mary had not been unfaithful). In their case, once Joseph took Mary from her father’s house, they were husband/wife even though they did not consummate their marriage until after Jesus was born. So, it is clear in that case, consummation does not =marriage. Hope I answered your question.

Blessings in Him,
Cindy

Hi,

I want to thank you so much for sharing your story…My husband and I have felt very much alone over the past year as we have exposed and tried to talk to our church leadership about the same issues of divorce and remarriage. So far, to little avail.

I keep praying and asking God to send people our way of like mind, as we are feeling so weak on our own. I just found the discussion forum and and look forward to being approved and able to talk with others. I plan to forward your website name on to a number of individuals, including a number of pastors – it seems like such a radical step that you have taken and I commend you for it. I have read many articles on the subject, but because you have personally walked through it, it has so much more meaning. God bless you. (Name Deleted)

Thanks for your testimony and courage to do what is right
we too are paying a price for speaking out this unpopular message.
(Name Deleted) Oklahoma

Hello,
I was searching the internet for scriptures to pray for the “other” woman and came across your testimony. You have no idea how it has touched my heart.
My covenant husband left me for another woman back in 1991 and quickly “married” her after the divorce went thru. The Lord spoke to me when he left and told me He would heal and restore my marriage if I would stand with Him. My testimony is very long, but in a nutshell, after many years of praying for my husband and our marriage, my husband contacted me in 2003 and the Lord has changed his heart. He wants to come back to our marriage, but feels trapped in this adulterous marriage with the other woman. ……. God has promised to use us to bring His true message of divorce and remarriage to others. I’m just weary of waiting for God to move.
After reading your testimony I have been praying that God convicts the other woman of her sin of taking another woman’s husband and that she will turn her life over to Christ.
I just wanted to let you know how much I admire your strength in doing what is right. I will pray for you, that God will richly bless you for your courage.
In Christ,
(Name Deleted)

I just read your “open letter”. It was very timely for me, because I have been pondering and praying over this issue lately, and came to the same conclusion, that repentance. The scripture is very clear on this…I don’t need to search the scripture and struggle for understanding. I have been married and divorced twice, once before I was a believer, once after. I have been single, celibate and un-dating for 15 years. I would like to fall in love with a good, godly man and get married and do it right…but God’s word stops me in my tracks. I don’t ‘like’ it. I don’t ‘feel good’ about it, but I know it’s true. My struggle isn’t in trying to find a loophole, but learning to accept with an obedient heart, with thankfulness, with joy and expectancy the “plans” He has made concerning me”.

God bless & Peace,

(Name Deleted)

I just wanted to send off a big “THANK YOU!!!” for your website and ministry.

As a single, I wanted to determine BEFORE the subject came up whether or not I could potentially date a divorced man. Friends and family largely stated that I could if he’d divorced when he was not saved, the adultery clause, etc. (You’ve heard them before.) Problem was, I remembered reading the verse stating that whoever married a divorced individual was committing adultery, so their input left me uneasy. Something wasn’t right and I knew it.

You’re site helped enormously in going through all the scriptures. Thank you!

What makes me sad, as I read the frequently asked questions, is the apparent willingness of so many Christians to “take a chance”. In our quest to get our way, we are willing to read into the scriptures that if the Bible says to let the non-believing spouse go, we ASSUME that gives the green light to remarry. With all the warnings against this in the Bible, why would we go there?

Sadly, I think the answer is that too often we want our own way and our own happiness more than we want to please Christ. I think the Church (generally speaking) spends too much time telling us how wonderful the Christian life is. We forget that we are to take up our cross and follow Him! That is not easy, it is not pleasant – it is hard work! The Christian walk is not for the faint of heart.

Thank you again and please keep up your good work.

(Name Deleted)

Just wanted you to know I read your testimony and am so thankful there are still people in this world who understand that God does not want his children to divorce and remarry. You have a lot of good thoughts on that subject.

I have the website (deleted) and I have added links to your site there.

I have today sent an email to several pastors that need to read this. They are all remarried, some more than one time remarried. May God show them the truth.

Thanks for standing on the true word of God no matter what cost.

I was saved in 2005. This matter of remarriage has not been easy for me to understand, but after reading your testimony the Holy Spirit confirmed in my heart that what you say is true.

I am married and divorced twice. All happened as a non Christian. This that I now understand means that I must not remarry any man again as long as my first husband is still alive. Not my second but my first, since only the first is valid in Gods eyes.

I also understand that my last name needs to be changed back to (deleted) because (deleted) came from being married for the second time and since that marriage was not good in God’s eyes I shall not carry that name. Now I understand why God made it easy for me to divorce my second husband in 2001. It was not valid in Gods eyes. God wanted me to divorce that man. I actually felt blessed doing that and now I know why I did feel such a blessing getting out of that marriage.

Now I also know why God hindered me and a Pastor from marrying each other in 2005. It would not be right in Gods eyes as long as we both were divorced, and as long as our former spouses is still alive.

Thanks for telling the truth as God has showed you the matter of marriage, divorce and remarriage.

May God bless you in a huge way.

Sincerely,
(name deleted)

Hi Cheryl,
I thank God for your faithfulness in defending the truth about MDR. I have been a believer for 20 years but only recently stumbled upon the truth about remarriage being adultery if spouse is still living.

I married a divorced woman before I knew Jesus or the bible, I became a Christian 6 months after the marriage failed. Those I spoke to could not give me specific advice for my situation, and I was under false guilt that God would hate it if I divorced, especially as we had two young daughters. Mostly they said I was free to move forward, but they did not show me my marriage was adultery so I wrongly tried in vain to seek restoration for 4 yrs before conceding to her request for divorce.

Now I see I was working against the will of God and I have needlessly suffered and attempted further wrong marriages with Christian women thinking we were new creations and free from past covenants.

It is so hard now as I find myself in opposition to many in my family who are remarried and most of the church i once thought to be my allies in the faith. Everywhere I go here in New Zealand ministers are in ignorance and or denial of the truth and i feel so isolated.

I am encouraged by you and pray God keep you in His strength and joy.

God bless,

(Name deleted)

I was so happy to find your website! I am shocked at the amount of pastors, ministries and Godly brothers and sisters that have abandoned the truth about marriage, divorce and remarriage. My family was shattered by a plan from the enemy 12 years ago. We have two daughters. I have been standing for the healing of my marriage (not with out mistakes and a lot of pain) for those 12 years. This is not easy but how can anyone mistake what the word of God clearly states? In no way am I judging others, I have done many things I am not proud of and I feel that there is only one judge. What I wanted to share is to others who have found this truth and desire to please God by following his word and not excepting what the some are saying is “ok”, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! God Bless you for being bold and boldly declaring your faith in God’s word!

Donna

Hi,

My name is Brandon. I’m divorcing because I married a put away woman.

This website touches my heart and gives me encouragement.

Thank you. Its so sad to see these churches teaching false doctrine. The
vows you take are “better or worse” and “death do you part” NOT “till
divorce do us part”!

I was reading your website and I have a question that I honestly need a blunt answer to.

I am remarried. My 1st husband still alive & wants to come back together. I read that I am committing adultery by marrying my 2nd husband and there are no scriptures that say I’ve stopped sinning.

In your research, should I divorce my 2nd husband and go back to my 1st husband? Going against the Word of God is very scary and I don’t want other people’s opinions on what “they” think. I want what God thinks.

Any help or direction would be so helpful!

Thank you,
Cindy

Cindy,

If your 1st husband was never married prior to you, then yes, you both are still “one flesh” in God’s sight, until one of you dies. I would really encourage you to read/meditate on all the applicable scriptures in the NT (Mt. 5:32, Mt. 19:2-10, Mk. 10:1-12, Lk. 16:16-18, I Cor. 7:10-12, I Cor. 7:39, Rom. 7:2-3). In addition ponder the relationship spoken of in scripture concerning Herod/Herodias/Philip……..also in the OT, David and Michal (and her second “husband” Paltiel), the 1st wife/husband/2nd wife of Mal. 2.

Pray, pray, pray, and study His Word. He will lead you, this I am sure of. Please do not go by “name”, “theologian”, so and so teaches this, , no one else believes this, everyone else believes this, etc. Just STUDY and ask the Holy Spirit to teach you and bring to you the right questions and answers.

Blessings as you seek His Face, Cindy!

Cindy (yes, we share the same name). 🙂